Monday, June 15, 2009

Bloody Murder

I know it's hard to believe, especially for those of you who know my son well, but Tony has got a temper and it is starting to show. Here is what happened today. My friend Jodi came over with her dog and I put the two kids in my new double stroller (which I don't use nearly enough) and we went for a walk. Tony loves the outdoors, I swear he'd live outside if I let him. Rain, shine, hot or cold he could care less, just let him be outside and he is happy. So he was perfectly content on the walk, but as soon as we got home he started fussing like he usually does. I made a joke to Jodi, how it was kind of funny the fit he throws when I make him come inside. Today however it was not funny at all. I sat down on the couch to nurse Bella and he was fussing a little, and then it progressed into full on screaming. With tears running down his beat red face, his fists were clenched and shaking, except for when he was pinching my legs, and he was screaming bloody murder. There was nothing I could say or do to make him stop, and he was making Bella upset too. She started crying, so now both kids were full on crying and my housekeeper just arrived. Great! She was a little shocked to say the least. She offered to leave and come back Thursday, I agreed that was probably a good idea. My original plan was to nurse Bella then drop her off at Grandma's and then take Tony swimming at my friends house. Since Anthony showed no signs of letting up with his little fit he was throwing I decided to pack them both up (kicking and screaming) and go to Grandma's to feed Bella. Before my housekeeper left she offered to help me out of the house. As soon as she said to Tony, "lets go outside", he quit crying and started smiling as if nothing was wrong.
I felt like I shouldn't let him go swimming after that production, but then decided that was punishing me too, and I really wanted to go. So we went, and he was a perfect angel the whole time, because we were outside of course.
He is only 18 months, so I have to wonder, are the terrible two's starting early, or is this just a small taste of what's to come?
Any suggestions for how to respond to this behavior?

13 comments:

Elle J said...

Awwww ... pour little guy. I know it is stressful and it is easy to wonder when to hold your ground and what choices to make as a parent on a minute-by-minute time frame. Unfortunately, that part will never change regardless of age. I think you did fine, glad you still got to enjoy your swim time.

And speaking of swim ~ any updates on your prior pool quest?

Lori said...

Elle J,
I'm not really working much these days, and so I sort of gave up on the pool idea, after I checked into it, it's a lot more money than I thought. My new quest is a new deck with an outdoor pizza oven, a fire pit and some nice patio furniture. A place where I can hang out with the kids during the day.

Lori said...

I'm always dreaming up something...

Sarah said...

I've heard that the terrible twos actually start around 18 months... sorry to say...

Rachael said...

Hahahahaha: I KNEW Tony reminded me most of Kristen!! She used to throw temper tantrums just like that at that age. I have a picture of her all red-faced stomping her foot because she didn't get her way, at our house in Loma Linda and she was 18 mo. when we moved, so I know she was younger than that! The good news is: she turned out just fine, and she doesn't throw fits anymore! :)

Tina in CT said...

My daughter's terrible two's started at 18 months. I thought I'd tear my hair out some days. I thought I had it bad but she was a piece of cake compared with some of the tantrums she has to deal with. Fast forward 20 - 25 years when Tony will be the father of an 18 month old - PAY BACK TIME!

Kathy said...

Ah, the joys of having young kids... It's SO hard to deal with meltdowns when you have another child to take care of, especially when she's just a baby! I feel for you. I've had many, many experiences with meltdowns, which lead to double meltdowns (the second kid), and then lead to triple meltdowns (me this time). The best advice I can give is to try your BEST to be calm, not yell back, and take care of the child that needs you the most at that moment. I know I've lost my cool a few times in those situations and always feel terrible afterwards. I've learned to try and stay as calm as possible, keep my voice down, but still stick to my guns and not let them get away with craziness. I don't want to teach them that a meltdown will get them what they want.
I think 18 months was about right for the terrible twos. Fortunately, I think the meltdowns didn't come that often once my boys realized I wasn't going to give in. It's gotten harder lately though because they are trying again and now they are old enough and smart enough to really push the matter (just turned 3). I'm sticking with the same philosophy and surviving so far! :)
Hopefully, Tony just had a bad day and will adjust soon. Good luck!

Cecelia said...

I suggest you get a fenced in yard and let him play all day outside. Take his lunch outside and he'll be one happy kid. Just like his mom liked to do when she was his age.

Shanna said...

Yes, 18 months is the right timing! I was fortunate and escaped the terrible twos with very little trauma. Now 3's and 4's...

BabyMakes4 said...

ah ha ha. welcome to the wonderful world of 2. or nearly 2. ;) i vividly remember bringing sarah kate home shortly after ali turned 2. those were some rough days. but you know what? they don't last long. i say this just as we are about to enter this territory with sk (whose temper is already proving to be far worse than ali's was). but tony's so happy that i bet you won't see many of these fits. or you'll just get used to being outside all day. :)

Anonymous said...

If you think twos are terrible, just WAIT UNTIL the 3s come along. I didnt think I would have any hair left by the time my kids turned four. They are much smarter at 3 so they know how to push your buttons to get their way.

Amy

Tina in CT said...

I remember my pediatrician's telling me that just as I thought I couldn't take a particular stage any longer that my daughter would suddenly outgrow it and enter another stage.

Amy said...

Hahahaha! I can picture that too! I am SO glad my kids outgrew that particular type of tantrum. (Theirs are much quieter now!)
I am sure it is a phase, and he will grow out of it, hopefully sooner rather than later! Good luck!