Chicago

Yesterday we had a large group that headed to Chicago for a day of sightseeing.   There was 6 adults and 8 kids in our group, which made for an interesting day.  I decided, after much debate, to leave Tony and Bella at home with a sitter.  So while in the city with only one person to keep track of, and that one person being 14 years old, my day was pretty easy.  Not only did I not have a ton of stuff to carry, the one bag (purse/camera bag combo) I did bring, Anya carried all day for me.  So with no kids to keep track of and no bags to carry, I had a constant feeling that someone was missing or I was forgetting something.  

The whole group (minus me, the photographer)

Anya and I

Once in Chicago we headed for Willis Tower (which I will always think of as Sears Tower, why would they change the name of such a famous building?)  We all headed up to the observation deck.  It was kind of cloudy and overcast, so the views were not as spectacular as I imagine they are on a clear sunny day, but it was still a great sight from 103 stories up.  We had fun taking pictures on the glass floor.  Anya was so scared, which I found funny, because she weighs far less than what most people standing on that glass floor weigh, and they weren't afraid.  

Willis Tower

Willis tower is 103 stories up

Francie and Lilia

Chicago from the top of Willis Tower

My niece Katya and I

Irina

Lilia (Chaparone staying with Francie)

Lilia teaches at Anya's boarding school.  They have had some good bonding time here in Michigan.  I hope Lilia will take extra care and pay special attention to Anya when back in Ukraine.

Francie and Mason in the gift store

After Willis Tower, we all piled into a few cabs and headed to Portillo's for lunch, where we would be meeting up with Serafina and her 3 boys plus Anijia (her host daughter from Latvia).  The food there is so good, we all had too much to eat, Anya's belly was protruding she was so full, well truthfully all of ours were, but it really showed on her cause she is such a skinny girl.  She ate a whole bowl of pasta and 2 big meatballs.  I think pasta is her favorite food she has had so far.  She always seems to eat a lot whenever we have it.  (another sign that she is a good fit for our family :))

We then decided to walk to Navy Pier (about a mile), stopping for pictures along the way.  The sun was shining and the day was getting hot.  Poor Serafina had to carry her 4 year old on her back most of the way.  I really felt for her, I know that would have been me if I'd brought Tony and Bella.  At one point she had one kid on her back, and one kid she was trying to carry in front of her.  Francie came to her rescue and carried one.  Once we got to Navy Pier, we rested for a bit in the gardens and took some pictures before heading over to the rides.  The swings were a big hit with the kids, we even got the 2 Ukraine chaparones to go on them.  

Me discovering that I didn't pic the most flattering shift to wear.  

Anya showing off her big belly after eating a BIG lunch

Irina, one of the Ukraine chaparones

Rachael and her 5

Francie and Mason

Natalie with her cute boy Mason 

At Navy Pier in the gardens

Sasha (our translator for the day) with Anya

Sergey and Ben

Everyone loved the swings at Navy Pier

Irina on the Ferris Wheel

Lilia on the Ferris Wheel

Katya playing in the fountains

Chicago from the top of the Ferris Wheel

After Navy Pier, we headed back to the parking garage (another mile back) so Serafina could get her van.  Before heading for the train station we all had some frozen yogurt which was a self serve (fill your cup as full as you want with whatever yogurt and toppings you want) and the kids really piled their glasses full.  Even knowing everything cost more in Chicago, we were all shocked at the cost of this yogurt.  For just Anya and I it was $15, and I just got a small amount for myself.  I'm not gonna say how much Rachael's was, but lets just say, she could have taken the family out to dinner back here in Michigan for what she spent on yogurt!!  

Anya enjoying her yogurt (she ate the whole thing!)

Then it was a mad dash to get 14 people to the train station, we had to take the Chicago Subway first, just to get us to the train station, we managed to get there 30 seconds before the train left.  

In Chicago we did all things that would have been fun for Tony and Bella, it was just the long day that worried me, with all the walking, or riding in the stroller for them, or worse, me pushing an empty stroller and trying to carry 2 kids that had me worried.  I promised Tony I would bring him a surprise if he would stay home with Micayla our babysitter.  He bargained for a green tractor with a chisel plow, and a cupcake.  Deal.  On our way home from Chicago, I remembered about the promised surprise, and since the farm store was closed, we swung by walmart and I got him a Cars race-track and a little toy doll for Bella.  When we got home, kids were happy and playing outside with Micayla.  Micayla gave me a big hug when she saw me and said she missed me and was so glad to see me!  (I translate that to, I made the right decision leaving them home.)  After I gave Tony his surprise, which he loved, he said, "but where is my tractor and chisel plow?"  I had to explain that they don't sell tractors in Chicago.  I'm sure by weeks end, he will have talked me into that tractor and chisel plow from the local farm store.  

PS in case your wondering, yes I did try to get Anya to wear something a little cuter and less comfy looking, but she was pretty adamant that was what she wanted to wear!  

Another quick update

I feel truly blessed to have gotten such a sweet girl.  When I was trying to decide who to pick from the photo listing and brief summaries, it was just so hard to know who would be a good fit for our family.  I finally narrowed it down to 3 and decided to let Todd choose from the 3.  I figured that way, if we didn't like her, I could somehow blame him, since he picked her, or at least have some defense if he tried blaming me.  Since after all this was all my idea in the first place.

Things are still going great, but I am getting tired.  All this going going going, is wearing my pregnant body out.  My kids went a whole week of staying up till 10pm+ every night, no naps for Bella (which she still so badly needs), and early mornings for me.  With the kids running on low sleep, you can imagine their behavior is far from perfect.  They are naughtier, crankier, whinier and clingier than usual, and with Anya here, I of course feel the pressure to be the perfect motherly example and never lose my patience with them.   The kids sleep in late, till 10 usually, so I get up at 7 when Todd goes to work, and get any paperwork done for my job I need to do.  7a-10a is my only free time of the day, and it's not nearly enough time to get done all I feel I need to do.  The laundry is piling up, and the house is getting harder and harder to keep picked up.  Thank goodness for my cleaning lady, she came and did the hard cleaning on Thursday. All I have to do, is the daily pick up and straightening, which is hard too if you ask me.  Three days ago I decided to reinstate the nap time.  Nap time for Bella, quiet play time for Tony, and if I am lucky, a nap for me.  So 2 of the past 3 days, I have gotten a little nap too, which makes a huge difference in the second half of my day.

Yesterday when Bella and I were napping, Tony was playing in his room, Anya in her room.  When I woke up the house was quiet.  I went downstairs and could see out the window that Tony and Anya were playing together in the driveway with the sidewalk chalk.  She had written out our last name in big bold letters, and then wrote "the best" underneath our name.  (Todd says she's just sucking up, lol) I love that they play together.  She has taken on the role of "big sister" to them, and tolerates their typical toddler behaviors so well.  Any other kid, I believe would have been far less tolerant.  I asked Anya how she and Tony ended up playing outside, and she told me he came and got her, and took her out to play.

Anya now notices when I am getting tired, she can see me yawning, and encourages me to sleep when Bella does, which makes me feel less guilty.  Thursday was the first day I started the nap routine, but I still had painting to finish up in Anya's room, so while she insisted I nap, I insisted I finish her room.  Which by the way, her room is 90% done.  My sister Natalie is going to make the curtains today, and then it will be complete.  (Pictures to follow.)   Anya loves her room, and I do too.  It is so homey and inviting.

Last week I took her to my cousins house for her first horse riding experience.  She was a bit timid at first, but seemed to thoroughly enjoy every minute of it.

She has also enjoyed helping me make dinner each night.  Todd brought home some baby eggplants the other day, and we made eggplant parmesan (my favorite).


I took her shoe shopping the other day at TJ Max, and for the first time since she has been here, I saw some typical teenage behavior.  She definitely has an opinion about what she wants to wear.  She probably did the few times I took her shopping before, but was too "new" to say so.   After trying on several pairs of shoes, she settled on a pair of dress shoes for church (last week she had to wear flip flops) and some new Sketcher tennis shoes, with sparkles on them.  We then went to Lowe's and I let her pick out a plant for her room (an idea I got from another host parent, Serafina) and she picked out some flowering cactus plants.  Not what I would have picked, but they look very cute in her room.  We also bought a few other room decor pieces including a picture frame to hang on the wall above her bed with a space for 4 pictures.  I asked her what pictures she wanted in them and she said, "1. Tony, 2. Bella, 3. Todd and Lori, and 4. Anya."  So I let her pick out the ones she wanted and we printed them.

Monday we (Anya and I) are going to Chicago for a day trip.  We will take the train, and my sister Rachael and her kids will be going, my sister Natalie, my sister Francie and Lilia (one of the Chaparone's) Irina another chaperone staying with friends locally, and we are meeting up with Serafina and her clan too.  I am getting a sitter for Tony and Bella and leaving them home.  Todd says that is cruel and I should take them, they would love it.  I say he clearly has not spent enough time entertaining them by himself.  Those 2 are a lot of work, and just the thought of taking them by myself is exhausting.  Even though there will be plenty of others to help, when my kids are cranky and tired, they only want mama!  So all the help in the world is useless to me.

The other night, we were talking to Lilia and Anya about Chicago and asking them what they want to do when we are there, and Lilia wants to ride the ferris wheel, the one I took Anya on the day after she arrived, and she showed no glimpse of enjoyment over it.  (We brought the picture home and showed Lilia, and that's how Lilia knows about it and now wants to do it.)  It was so funny because when she said that, Anya was all smiles and excited to do it again.  I sort of teased her, and said, "Oh, now you want to ride the ferris wheel!"  Her true personality is starting to show, and I really like it.

In addition to being sweet with the kids, super obedient, willing to do anything I suggest, easy to please food wise, she is extremely helpful around the house.  I do not ask for her to help me clean up or cook, but with every meal she sets the table, helps cook, clears the table and now does the dishes.  I of course help her, but she does this all on her own.  I feel guilty letting her do so much, but the more she insists, the easier it is getting for me to let her help.  I don't get any help normally, so it's really quite nice.

Yesterday Rachael's friend, Olga, who is hosting a chaperone as well, is Russian, and has many Russian friends.  They all got together and put on a picnic potluck lunch for us, making authentic Russian and Ukranian foods.  It was such a nice meal, and great to talk with all of them. We were talking about the kids, and how most of them eat like they've been starved for years.  I was saying how Anya is quite different, she will eat if I tell her to eat, but if I ask her if she wants to eat, or if she is hungry, she will say no.  In fact I have had to rephrase the way I talk to her.  Instead of saying "do you want to eat?", I say, "It's time to eat."  They explained to me, that is a cultural thing, in Ukraine, if you offer them something, even if they want it, they automatically tend to say no on the first offer.  It takes 2 or even 3 times before they will accept.  After he told me this, I started to notice that whenever Anya offers me something, (whenever she gets juice, or food for herself, she offers to get some for me as well) if I say no, she keeps insisting I take it, and I have to say no, 2 or 3 times before she accepts my answer.  It's funny knowing that bit of cultural difference, now I know why she offers it to me several times before accepting my answer.

Well time to get started on some laundry folding before the kids wake up.

Week 1 flew by...

Things are still going so well here.  We couldn't have picked a better girl for our family.  Anya just loves Tony and Bella, and they love her back, as do I.  In fact, I think Todd even enjoys her more than he ever expected to.  I see him making the extra effort to come home more often than he normally does in July (his busiest work month of the year.)  He frequently asks me if she's having a good time, and reminds me (as if I don't already know) that it is important to make sure she has fun while she is here.  He talks to her on the iphone when he is home.  He gave her 2 t-shirts from the farm with our name on them, and she now wears them to bed every night instead of the pj's I got her.  He has even mentioned that "too bad we didn't know about winter hosting, it would have been a better time of year" (meaning he isn't so busy.)  I told him there is always this winter.  I'm sure she would love to come back.  All of this is makes me very happy, coming from someone who had to be really talked into hosting in the first place.  

On the 4th of July we went to a parade in the small farm town next to our even smaller farm town.  It was nothing fancy, but easy in/easy out no traffic, no trouble, so my kind of event!  There were lots of tractors at the parade, a few horses, and floats.  Nothing spectacular, but when your trying to impress a 2 and 3 year old, and a 14 year old orphan, it doesn't take much.  

Speaking of "orphan", I hate that word now, whenever I use it, I feel like I am talking bad about her.  Do any of you other host families feel the same way?  When I am out in public and people ask about her, and they do, because as soon as they realize she doesn't speak English, the questions start flying.  It makes me uncomfortable.  I mean she truly is an orphan, her mom died a year and a half ago, and she has never known her father, and she lives in an orphanage, but she calls it boarding school.  So maybe that's why I feel guilty calling it anything but boarding school.  Anyway, I hope someday she becomes something bigger in life and loses that title of "orphan".  She seems to be very smart, is picking up on English quite well.  So well, in fact, that last night I was talking to my sister about her during dinner, while Anya was sitting right next to me, and I felt the need to use our special "ARP" language, just in case she understood what I was saying.  Don't get me wrong, we are still using the iphone/ipad for most communications, but Anya is definitely understanding more of what is being said around her.  

I was explaining to her one day, why my phone rings non stop during the day, (because I work from home), so then I was telling her that I am nurse, and have a home healthcare company, and either employees or patients are always calling me.  She translated back something that I thought said she wanted to be a nurse too.  Excited to hear that, I clarified that was in fact what she meant, only to find out that no, she does not want to be a nurse, but a doctor.  According to my sister Rachael, who went to Ukraine to interview the orphans for the hosting program, it is rare to find an orphan with such high aspirations for themselves.  Most of them aspire to be a hairdresser, or an actress.  

We are doing many fun things...  as I mentioned before, it seems the simple things are just as much fun as the "fun" things.  Simple things being cooking dinner, playing outside with the kids, making raspberry jelly, painting her bedroom, washing the car.  "Fun" things she really enjoys are swimming at the pool, going to the children's museum downtown, and riding bikes.  (Although she is not a fan of the NHFC rule of wearing a helmet when riding bikes.)  She is a pro at it, must have had a bike in her previous home life, and I am certain she never wore a helmet.   When I showed her the helmet, she shook her head and said, "No".  

One funny thing about Anya, is that whenever she says no, she says "no", but her tone of voice says, "No-Duh!"  I think she is just trying to graciously say no, but it comes across the other way.  At the pool the other day when I offered her a popsicle, and she said "no", I finally told her (on the translator) that when she says "No", her face says, "how dare you ask such a stupid question".   I think it translated correctly, because she thought it was funny.  

Well, I gotta go, I have 30 minutes to wake up all 3 kids and get to my cousins house for Anya's first (I think first) time to ride a horse.   I will post some pictures on Facebook later today, and come back here and post the link to them so you all can see.  

Our first few days with Anya

We are having a great time with Anya.  I'm a little ashamed to admit that when I first considered hosting, my first though was to get a teenage girl so she could help me with the kids.  Rachael said that if that was really what I wanted, I should consider a nanny, rather than hosting an orphan.  Of course I would give her great opportunities of fun, and family experiences as well, but I couldn't help see the benefit to me, as those of you who know me well, know that my 2 kids are a handful right now, being so young and so close together in age.  After finding out more about the hosting program and the rules and the expectations, I accepted that this was not something I should be doing to benefit myself, but to do something good for another child.  A child who doesn't have the most basic thing in life, a mother and father to care for them.
While on our first meeting, Anya was a little shy, and that shyness lasted a few days, it seems to be gone, and she is showing who she really is.  I am really enjoying seeing her do things she has never done before.  Surprisingly it is the simple things she seems to enjoy the most.  On our first day we were still in Chicago, so I took her and Tony and Bella to Navy Pier to walk around and do a little sight seeing.  We rode the ferris wheel, which was nothing exciting or thrilling for Anya or my kids.  We walked around some more, but still, all 3 kids seemed bored.  Since I could not ask her what she wanted to do, (not that she would tell me anyway, being so shy and shell shocked to her new environment) I decided to go to the Chicago Children's Museum.  I figured at least 2 out of the 3 would be happy if we did that.
Anya was a good sport, walked around with me and helped me keep an eye on Tony and Bella, as they were running around in 2 different directions.  After a couple hours of that, I realized that it was nearly 1pm, and approaching 24 hours since Anya had eaten or even had water to drink.  She had refused everything I offered her since her arrival in Chicago.  Being such a skinny girl* (5'7'', 102 pounds), she looks like she shouldn't miss a meal.  I saw a McDonald's, and thought I would offer that to her, and it was a success.  McDonald's must be universally liked, because she ate a hamburger, french fries and a coke.  I was oh so happy to see her eat finally.  My not so good eaters (Tony and Bella) ate really good too surprisingly.  For the first time ever, I thought maybe I didn't order enough food for them.
From her first meal with us, she was a good sport about sharing her food.  Bella was stealing her fries, and she hasn't stopped stealing food from her plate since then.  It seems every meal we eat, even if Bella has her own plate of the same food, she wants Anya's.  I always say, "Bella, NO" and Anya looks at me, and in her own way, tells me, it's okay, she doesn't mind.
Once we finally got home, and settled into home life, I realized the things that Anya seems to like the most are just normal routine things we do everyday.  Pull the kids in the wagon and play with them on the swing set, help me make dinner, and set the table.  Francie taught her to make bread, and then the next day, a cake.  She seemed overjoyed with cooking, so I think I will start having her help me with the cooking more.  Her bedroom, with the new window construction is finally done.  Yes, she had to sleep on the mattress in the play room for a few days, but she didn't seem to mind.   On Friday I took her for her first pedicure, which she really loved.  The guy who did her nails, gave her 2 painted flowers on her toes, (normally a charge for that, but he did it for her just to be nice, which I thought was really sweet.)  Then we went to the paint store to buy paint for her bedroom.  (the construction is done, but still needs paint before complete.)  I intended to buy the paint, and hire a painter to paint, but as we were picking out colors, I asked Anya if she would like to paint the room with me.  She smiled and seemed very excited about that.  So today, we are going to paint her room, and put it back together, so she has a place to call her own while here this summer.
Yesterday we went swimming for nearly 5 hours at my cousins pool.  Anya is a great swimmer, she told me she taught herself to swim in the sea.  Francie taught her how to dive, and after many many belly flops, she finally got it!  She loved the pool slide, and little Bella of course wanted to go down the slide "on her lap", so Anya carried her up the ladder, and carefully got situated with Bella on her lap.  I was in the deep end, ready to catch Bella, but worried how I was going to do that while treading water.  She had a life jacket on, so I wasn't worried she would drowned, just worried she would be under long enough to get a mouth full of water and hate it.  Anya was so good though, when they went down the slide, she somehow stayed under water, holding Bella up with her arms so she stayed above water, until I was able to get her.  I'm not sure even I could have done that.
Tony and Bella adore Anya, but Tony is such a mama's boy, as most of you know, and whenever Anya tries to help him out of the car, he says "mama, mama!" and he does that so often, that now, Anya mimics him, and looks at me and says "mama, mama, mama!" and we laugh and trade sides, so she gets Bella and I get Tony out.  Although, just yesterday, he has changed his mind, and when I go to get him out, he says "no!  Anya!".  So now it's a big guessing game when we get out of the car, which kid I will help and which one Anya will help.
Well this is getting long, and kids will be up soon, yes our days are long here, and Tony and Bella refuse to miss out on any of the fun, so they have been staying up till 10:30/11 at night.  The only good in that, is that they sleep in late.  It is now 10am and not a peep from any children yet.  That has been the routine for the past 4 days.

*New Horizons requires us to do weekly reports on how things are going, and that also includes a weekly height and weight.  Which is how I know Anya is 5'7" and 102 pounds.  I weighed her last night.  My sisters were here, and we were guessing how much she would weigh before she stepped on the scale.  We all guessed a range of 85-90 pounds.  No one dreamed she would be 102!  So when she stepped on the scale, and saw the 102 we all stared in disbelief, especially Anya.  She said, "no, no, no" and re-weighed herself 3 times.  Each time, just sure it was wrong.  We were teasing her that she had gained weight in America (even though she eats like a bird.)  We finally figured out, that they use kilograms in Ukraine, so that is why she was so shocked!!  When I told her the conversion was 46kg, she was much happier.  We all got a good laugh out of that.

Well I seem to be having trouble getting blogger to find my pictures.  So for now, I am posting pictures on Facebook and blogging without pictures.  If you want to see pictures and aren't Facebook friends with me, leave me a comment and I can give you the link.

PS  When I say, "Anya says"  I don't mean she speaks English. We use the ipad and my iphone regularly to communicate.  It has been a great help to both of us, and she is a whiz with it.

PSS  Anya has far exceeded any expectations I had of her "helping me with the kids", I don't ask her for any help, and she just helps on her own.  Picking up the toy room, playing with the kids,  etc.  It seems the love my kids have for her, is a mutual feeling.

link to Facebook pictures from day 1 & 2

Open Gym pictures

pool and beach day with Anya

5 more days

As you all have heard, Anya, 14, an orphan from Ukraine, comes to spend a 5 week summer vacation with us in just 5 days.  I have been excitedly awaiting this day since I first started this process back in March.  June 28 seemed forever far away, and now it's coming so fast, I feel like it might as well be tomorrow.  I have been following the blogs and stories of several new friends and family members going through the same preparation, excitement and nervous anticipation as I am.  Yes I said several family members, my sister Rachael is hosting an orphan teen boy, my mom is hosting an orphan teen boy, my cousins in OK are hosting an orphan teen girl and my sister Francie is hosting an orphanage worker/chaperone for 2 of the 5 weeks, plus I have met several friends, some in person and some online, and I am following their stories as well.  Seems hosting an orphan and having a blog go hand in hand, everyone's got one.  It's a great way to share the experience with others.

So as I have been reading up on everyone else's blogs, I realize that everyone is in busy planning, preparing mode as the day is fast approaching, and all their planning and preparing is just making me more nervous and feeling more under prepared.  I am a born procrastinator, and I fully expect to be 100% ready for Anya when she gets here, the house ready, her room decorated, clothing and other misc things purchased for her, my work projects tended to, and my crash course in Russian memorized.... However, it will all be done in these last 5 days, as I have done very little, other than make a mental list what I need to do to be ready.

My biggest worry right now is Todd started a little (but kinda big considering the time frame) house renovation project just this week.  I guess he is a bit of a procrastinator too.  The guest bedroom that Anya will be staying in is in our basement, and it just has one tiny little window, not big enough to get out of in an emergency situation (which we hope never happens, but one should always be prepared).  Since we have another child on the way, in just 23 more weeks, we are going to need an extra usable bedroom anyway, so Todd decided several weeks ago that we should replace that little window with a bigger one.

Step 1:  Dig a 5x5x5 foot hole around the window avoiding any power lines, gas pipes, cable wires etc.

Step 1 was completed last night.  As you can see, there are many boxes, wires, pipes that are all going to have to be moved.  This is not going to be an easy task.

Tony and Bella were quite the little helpers.  They had a blast playing in the pile of dirt.  

Step 2 hopefully happens tonight, which is having an electrician come and re-route all the wires etc.  

Step 3+ Get a contractor in to bust out the wall and put in the window.  

Should be no problem right???  Let's hope so, we don't have time for problems and delays.

The next 5 days are going to be busy busy busy, but I am so excited for Tuesday.  I can't wait to meet Anya.  Todd has to work Tuesday, so the kids and I (this should be fun, thankfully my sister is going too to pick up her boy, so she can help me with my kids) are going to Chicago by ourselves to pick her up.  We are going to stay in Chicago for the first night, to recoup and relax a bit before rushing back.  

And on another note, look what's growing outside our house.... In just a few weeks (I'm guessing) we will have all the vine ripe fresh tomatoes we can eat plus a few thousand or so more.

Car Washing at our House Today

Today was such a nice day, I decided I should wash the car, it was way overdue for one.  I thought the kids would get a kick out of helping me, which of course they did.  They took it one step further and both surprised and entertained me.  After I finished washing my car, and pulled it into the garage, I was  starting to clean up, when next thing you know, Tony is filling the bucket back up, and brought out his truck.

He even washed out the bed of the truck.

He did a good job, washed the whole thing.

Washing cars is only fun when your 3!

Not long after getting Tony's truck done, Bella comes out with her car.

She didn't really care about washing it, so much as just getting it wet.

Such a cutie!

This girl has some wild hair!

My clean car!

When we finished with my car, Tony's truck, and Bella's car, Tony says, "let's wash Daddy's truck now!"  My response was "No way buddy, that's Daddy's job!"